Dear Neale...I was in your Conversation with God's class. I read your book When Everything Changes, Change Everything. Mr. Walsch I have so many fear and I don't even know where to begin to name them out. My greatest change---my husband, my best friend got killed. I haven't been the same. Sometimes the fear of being homeless, fear of abandonment and fear that there’s not a soul on this earth who loves me enough to carry me through. Somewhere along the way God had abandoned me...and now I don't know how i could surrender to God, and trust him to always lead to a better day. I am stuck in a depression mode. One day is good; another day is bad....Mr. Walsch, how do converse with God? It seems pray to him is not working out very well. How do I present to God so I may have a break and begin to live life to the fullest? I listened to your story...I cried my heart out. Thank you for sharing Mr. Walsch. Sincerely, Thien
Neale Responds
My dear Thien...I am so glad that you wrote to me. Thank you for reaching out to me...and to God. The first thing I want you to do is find a copy of Home with God. You should be able to order it from Amazon.com or any online bookstore. Please read it right away.
Your Soul is calling you to read this book right now. Do not wait on this. Do this right now. Get a copy of the book and read it. Thanks.
I am so very, very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband-and-best-friend. I know how devastating that must be for you, and you will be sad for the rest of your life about that---and you should be.
Sweet Person, Happier Than God tell us that sadness and unhappiness are not the same thing. Here is an excerpt from that wonderful book:
There is a difference between sadness and unhappiness. During the writing of this book my dog, Lady, died. She had been my companion for over 14 years. In the past 12 months she had become increasingly pain-filled, from a variety of ailments and conditions.
Toward the end she was stone deaf and could hardly walk. In the very last days she could not even raise herself up. I was sad when she died, but I was not unhappy. Can you see the difference?
This is not an unimportant difference. This is not a trivial distinction.
I was sad that Lady was no longer with me, but I was happy that she was no longer in pain. I was happy—very happy—that she had gone on with her journey, celebrating her Continuation Day. I was even “happy that I was sad,” because my sadness said something to me about me. It said that I cared. It said that I loved. It said that I was human, and that despite the way that the world was showing up around me, desensitizing everyone, I had stayed in touch with my humanity.
Yes, I was happy about my sadness, and about what it told me about Who I Am. It felt good to be sad. Your sadness does not have to make you unhappy.
Used as a marker of where you are on your evolutionary path, your sadness can be a source of inner confirmation of the depth of your feelings, and thus, of who you are as a person and a spiritual being.
Therefore, when someone dies, let yourself grieve. When someone hurts you, allow yourself sadness. And especially when you hurt someone else, allow sadness to accompany your regret. Give yourself the gift of sadness and you will find that you heal more quickly from every experience that would tempt you to forget your full identity.
What I am saying here is that your sadness about anything need not stop you from being happier than God—happier than you once were.
Happiness is a cumulative thing. It becomes greater the more you feel it. I feel happier now than I did in the days before Lady laid down her body for the last time. I feel happier now than when I was 50, happier than when I was 30, happier, in fact, then I have ever been before in my life.
And I have learned how to accommodate my sadness and hold it within my happiness, making it a wonderful part thereof. Indeed, I have learned that “happiness” is achieved through the simple process of embracing all of life exactly as it is.
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Now Thein, I certainly do not mean to compare the death of my pet with the loss if your husband. Please do not read it that way. I am simply hoping to allow my book, Happier Than God, to make a point. If you have a chance, I also hope you will give yourself permission to read that book. It could help you a great deal right now.
Please read these books. Then, get back in touch with me and let's talk about how you may move forward with your life in a joyful way!
You have asked me how to have your own Conversation with God. As I have experienced it, there are Five Steps to having a Conversation with God:
1. Acknowledge that there IS a God, and that it is possible to have a conversation with What That Is.
2. Acknowledge that YOU are worthy and capable of having such a conversation.
3. Notice that you are having the conversation ALL THE TIME, and simply calling it something else. These could by anything from your highest thoughts, to the words of the next song you hear, to the chance utterance of a friend you just happen to meet on the street or at a party or in the grocery store.
4. Do not DOUBT or DENY the validity of the response you have received.
5. ACT ON the information you have received.
These steps will lead you straight to the same experience that I have had--and continue to have.
Thanks for writing to me, my friend. I hope my reply has been of help to you.
I send you peace and love
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